Communication Blocks - And Techniques To Overcome Them

Your entire interpersonal life is dependent on your ability to communicate. To have effective, working relationships you have to be skilled at making your thoughts, feelings, and needs known to others - and you have to be receptive to the thoughts, feelings, and needs of others.

It helps if you are aware of the various factors that can interfere with your communication effectiveness. Some of the more common ones include:

1. Preoccupation
   
   In the midst of a conversation, you or the other person may be guilty of focusing on something going on in your life instead of what is being said at that very moment.
   
   Unblocking technique - To counteract this factor, remind yourself throughout your conversations or meetings to remain present in the moment and focus.
2. Emotional blocks
   
   Sometimes some words, phrases, or comments are so emotionally charged that they shut down the communication process. On a very personal basis, there may be a host of other words, phrases, and topics that are so emotional for you that once they're brought up, it's difficult for you to keep on talking with any degree of rationality or keep on listening with any degree of true understanding.
   
   Unblocking technique - To prevent this kind of noise, remind yourself to stay calm and stay in control. Don't let the other person's inappropriate remark or your own hypersensitivity steal your peace.
3. Hostility
   
   When there's hostility in the air, you can bet the communication process will be affected. Messages will be distorted. You may be angry with the person you're talking to, or you may be carrying around some anger from another situation.
   
   Unblocking technique - To remove the noise of hostility blurring your communications, tell yourself: "Withhold evaluation until comprehension is complete". In other words, don't jump to conclusions. Get all the facts before you react or respond.
4. Charisma
   
   The charisma of the message sender may affect how the message is received. You see this noise factor in politics all the time. Quite often, candidates are chosen and elected, not so much for the brilliance of their thought, as the way in which they say it. A charismatic politician can make a tired, trivial, or even stupid message seem new, exciting, and right ... fooling the receiver into thinking that they don't even have to question or clarify the message.
   
   Are you ever guilty of falling prey to this trap? Have you ever come away from hearing a dynamic speaker, only to discover that you cannot remember what they said? And have you ever failed to listen to someone who had something important to say, but didn't bother to listen, because that speaker was dull compared to the charismatic speaker? If so, the communication process between you and the other person just came to a screeching halt.
   
   Unblocking technique - To keep the charisma factor in check, remind yourself that WHAT a person says is much more important than HOW they say it.
5. Past experiences
   
   Sometimes your past experiences can set you up to tune-out and turn-off the communication process. If, for example, your weekly staff meetings have almost always been a waste of time, you may enter a meeting expecting to learn nothing. So you fall back into trap Number 1 - Preoccupation.
   
   If you're not careful, you may overuse your past experience to pre-judge the communication that is about to take place as unworthy of your time. And as a result, you miss some important things you need to know or need to do. Or you may misinterpret the meaning of something if you only rely on your past experience - and if you fail to ask the right questions.
   
   Unblocking technique - To avoid making such mistakes, you can certainly use your past experience as a guide. Just don't overdo it. Your past experience gives you a vote - but not a veto - in making sense out of things.
6. Ambiguity
   
   There's an old saying amongst communication professors that says, "Words don't have meanings. People do". In other words, the same word can mean lots of different things to lots of different people. And that always causes communication problems.
   
   Unblocking technique - To reduce this factor disrupting your communication, remember that every ambiguous word needs to be clarified before making a response to it.
    
7. Hidden agendas
   
   These happen all too often in business meetings. A person comes to the meeting with one thought on their mind - what THEY want - and the quality of their listening and the sincerity of their comments are all geared to getting what THEY want. If a particular item on the agenda doesn't relate to their hidden agenda, they tune out. If a team member makes a suggestion that competes with their own personal desires, they may deliberately dispute the comment or disparage the team member.
   
   Unblocking technique - Ask yourself if you're being sincere and honest when you're in the midst of a conversation. Or are your comments motivated by a hidden desire to turn the conversation and the results in your favour? If you're guilty of that, chances are you're going to miss or dismiss some excellent ideas from people who have some new, fresh, and possibly better ways of doing things. Hidden agendas almost always damage the communication process.
8. Lack of verbal skills
   
   Since clarity is one of the hallmarks of effective communication, if you have not developed your verbal skills, you may be crippled for life. You won't move upward in your career and you won't move ahead in your relationships.
   
   Of course a number of things can affect a person's verbal skill. You may not have taken enough courses in speaking, listening, and writing - or if you did, it may have been some time ago. You may need to brush up your skills. And why not? We brush up our skills on just about everything else in life.
   
   Unblocking technique - In case your communication effectiveness is hampered by this factor, there are two things you need to do. First, take some communication classes if needed. Second, don't use your lack of education or cultural background as an excuse for not being an effective communicator. You can learn how to communicate more effectively, and indeed, your success in the business world depends on it.
9. Stereotypes
   
   It's so easy to take a few bits of information about a person and then jump to some huge generalisations about their entire character ... and the character of everyone else like them. It's called stereotyping. And if you hold any stereotypes, you can be sure of one thing: Whenever you are communicating with someone who falls into your stereotypical category, you ARE going to have communication breakdowns.
   
   Unblocking technique - To prevent stereotyping from damaging your communication, be aware of the kinds of people who turn you off. And when they're speaking, remind yourself that you don't have to like them or even agree with everything they say. All you have to do is give their comments a fair hearing to see if you can LEARN anything you can USE.
10. Perception / selective perception
    
    This may be one of the biggest interrupting factors in communication. Two people can look at the same situation and yet see it very differently. You see your product or service as fairly priced while your customer sees it as unfair gouging. And to complicate the communication process, both parties are right ... in their own minds.
    
    Once you have a perception, you tend to pick out the words and behaviours of the other person that support your perception. You'll zone in on those things that reinforce your perception, even though the other party may not have done or said anything that would make anybody else think they have. It's called "selective perception".
    
    Just remember, you and the other person will always have some degree of difference in your perceptions - because your perceptions are based on what you've experienced or what you've learned so far. And no two people have had the same experiences or have learned the same things.
    
    Unblocking technique - To reduce the perception / selective perception factor in your communication, remind yourself there's always more than one way to look at things. Try to understand how the other person "sees" the situation you are talking about. Try to come to a meeting of the minds. 
11. Defensiveness
    
    Whenever you or the other person in a conversation is defensive, you can expect the communication to break down. One or both of you won't "hear" everything that is said, or you may inject things that were never said. And this is most likely to happen when one or both of you are feeling insecure.
    
    As Oscar Levant chuckled, "There are two sides to every question: my side and the wrong side". While it may be funny, it isn't smart.
    
    Unblocking technique - To remove this noise from your communication, remember to check yourself. When you feel yourself getting defensive - STOP. Don't jump to conclusions. Don't respond too quickly. Check to see if you really understand what the other person is saying.
    
    Just as importantly, learn to say things tactfully so the other person doesn't get defensive. That doesn't mean you should be deceptive or insincere. No! Not at all. Just learn to be considerate when you speak so you don't hurt others unnecessarily.

As long as you live and work and find yourself around people, you will need the ability to communicate effectively. If you're aware of the 11 major factors that can disrupt your communication, you can improve your communication effectiveness.